tlhIngan Soj - Klingon Food, Part 3

Klingons are, arguably unjustly, infamous throughout the galaxy for their cuisine. -- Klingon for the Galactic Traveler

Klingons are not obligate carnivores - though, by the number of meat-based food products they consume, they might as well be.

The Klingon for meat is Ha'DIbaH. The term is also used for animal, and to insult a person. Klingon cooking uses a lot of Ha'DIbaH, whether it is fermented, coated in ngat granules or eaten straight off the bone.

Klingons exhibit ingenuity, resourcefulness, creativity and artistry in the preparation of food. This week's topic focuses on meat, and on meat cuts from the animal.

Klingon cuisine wastes no part of the animal; a Klingon would eat every part of the animal, from the skin down to the bone. What cannot be eaten on the table can easily be thrown into a 'un pot and marinaded (HaH drench, soak, steep in marinade), boiled (pub boil), stewed (Qev stew) or even fermented (rogh ferment). A good chanDoq marinade (n) uses the blood of the animal being cooked, mixed with herbs designed to enhance the flavour of the meat (tlhorghmoHwI' spice).


A good chanDoq can improve the blandest meat

Prime Cuts

Here are the typical parts consumed by Klingons. Klingons do tend to prefer their food to be fresh - the term ghoQ fresh, be freshly killed (v) here applies only to meat. Another adjective for fresh applies to fruit and vegetables - you'll have to see what that is in the next lesson.

Extremities

bem	sole of foot
gham	limb
lem	hoof
mov	top of foot
namwech	paw
nItlh	finger
pach	claw
qam	foot
qIv	knee

There does not seem to be a term for tentacle; unless Maltz says otherwise, assume gham means tentacle as much as it means limb in an animal, whether the limb in question here functions as an arm or a leg.

Head

ghIch	nose
Ho'	tooth
Hugh	throat
jat	tongue
mIn	eye
mong	neck
nach	head
qevpob	cheek
qogh	ear (outer)
QoghIj	brain
volchaH	shoulder
woS	chin
wuS	lIp

The term yab means brain, but it is not used in the context of food as yab means mind. The organ called yab is used to process thought and language, and as such is not to be used as food.

Offal and Organs

The word Somraw means muscle. While muscle tissue is a major component of Klingon food, it is not the only part consumed. The versatility and artistry of Klingon cooks (and the comparative jaw strength of the Klingons) allows them to eat a delightful assortment of body parts, including various parts which other species would discard as offal:-

burgh	stomach
chej	liver
chor	belly
DIr	skin
ghab	chunk of the midsection, including any organs remaining attached after the carving
ghab tun	filleted animal midsection, no bones
gham	limb
ghISDen	scales
HajDob	animal limb served as food
Hom	bone
luH	intestine
pIp	spine
tagh	lung
tIq	heart
to'waQ	ligament, tendon
tlhagh	fat, tripe, dripping
tlhuQ	tail
veD	fur
'aD	vein

A mixture of different body parts is called a Daghtuj - a meat salad, as it were.

Styles of Cooking

Hunter's Meat

In the cooking style known as wamwI' Ha'DIbaH hunter's meat, a body part is coated in ngat, granulated cartilage and herbs. The specific type of part or animal replaces the word Ha'DIbaH:-

wamwI' DIr	skin coated in crumbs
wamwI' mIl'oD	sabre bear, hunter style
wamwI' lIngta' gham	hunter's lingta leg

wamwI' lIngta' gham vutmeH ngat lo'bogh lIngta' gham pIDlu'

To cook hunter's lingta leg, the lingta leg is coated in ngat granules

Emperor's Meat

Emperor's Meat (voDleH Ha'DIbaH) is a style of cooking much favoured with meat that is slightly older. As above, the specific meat replaces Ha'DIbaH in the name. This process involves marinading the organs or meat in chanDoq, the favourite condiment of every competent Klingon cook.

The aroma of a good chanDoq fills every Klingon eating establishment, sending Klingon stomachs growling in anticipation of some good, hearty eating and drinking, and having a similar effect on other diners, to go by their reflexive regurgitation of half-digested food, presumably a vestigial evolutionary instinctive drive from primitive times when they used to feed their very young offspring this way.

As for what comprises chanDoq, every Klingon chef tends to be very secretive of their individual recipes, guarding the knowledge of the components and proportions jealously. It is known that many chanDoq use animal blood ('Iw) as a main component, along with various herbs and spices to bring out the flavour of the food.

voDleH boqrat chej	Emperor's Bokrat Liver
voDleH lIngta'	Emperor's Lingta
voDleH bIQDep	Emperor's Fish
voDleH borghel QImmey	Emperor's borgel eggs
voDleH bo'Degh	Emperor's Bird (any birdlike creature)
voDleH targh	Emperor's Targ
voDleH chemvaH to'waQ	Emperor's chemvaH ligament

Keyvak's Meat

Keyvak (qeyvaq), a hunter of note, liked his food fermented; his style of cooking, qeyvaq Ha'DIbaH, involves fermenting meat, typically in a form of chanDoq mixed with 'atlhqam fungus to bring on the process of fermentation.

qeyvaq targh chej	Keyvak's Targ Liver
qeyvaq lIngta'	Keyvak's Lingta
qeyvaq Sargh QoghIj	Emperor's Sark Brain

Standard Dishes

Of course, there are many standard dishes known throughout the Empire. The preparation of each kind of food is set, and does not vary. The most popular kinds of set dishes are:-


pipyus pach Pipius claw

targh tIq Heart of targ

tlhImqaH Zilm qach

tlhatlh Gladst

ro'qegh 'Iwchab Rokeg blood pie
Klingons also cherish delicacies such as Qaj tlhuQ kradge tail, tIqnagh lemDu' tiknag hooves, toqvIr lung Tokvirian skink, Duran lung DIr Durani lizard skins, bIreQtagh Bregit lung, qul DIr fire skin and tlhombus.

Fire Skin, qul DIr, is prepared by soaking bits of chopped up skin, from whatever animal is at hand, in a strong, inflammable liquor, the settig the pieces on fire. The objective is to eat the stuff quickly, while the skin is still burning.

It is considered very bad taste to try and blow out the flames.

Klombus, tlhombuS, is one of the few Klingon delicacies which requires extensive heating. In this case, the tlhombuS is a block of rendered tlhagh fat prepared hunter style, i.e. coated in ngat granules, and deep fried.

The closest Terran equivalent is this Glaswegian delicacy:-



This blog has not yet finished with the Klingon food posts. A new post will follow, this time next week.


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