Replacement Proverbs

Qagh Hoch Everybody makes mistakes. Whether you are experienced or a novice, sooner or later everybody errs, and honour is lost.

When you commit an error, you have one chance to correct that mistake - assuming you realise that you have erred. Errors can creep in a number of ways: you can misread a situation, fail to understand a spoken word, mispronounce a word or impose Terran values to a Klingon situation, such as attempting to protect a superior officer who has come under attack from an inferior who perceives the superior officer as weak somehow, or asking a Klingon at the dinner table to pass the salt.

It is easy to see when an error has been committed: your Klingon hosts will stop what they are doing, conversation will fall silent abruptly and every eye will turn on you.

Some errors are irredeemable, and can lead to one being branded a tourist and shuffled off on the next available shuttle. However. some errors can be redeemed somewhat by means of a replacement proverb. The Klingon language resource Power Klingon recommended learning at least one of these proverbs off by heart; any proverb will do.

The Klingon term qa'meH vIttlhegh replacement proverb is acknowledged as being a shortened form of the original quvqa'meH vIttlhegh proverb for the restoration of honour that has been lost. This is the purpose of these proverbs: to restore the failed honour of the speaker.

If the use of the qa'meH vIttlhegh succeeds, the interrupted conversation will resume without a pause, and nothing more will be said by anyone. Take that as a sign that your words have been deemed acceptable and your honour has been restored. If you keep receiving stares and silence from your hosts, forget about trying to impress them any further: you have just been branded a Terran pujwI' and you might as well grab your coat and leave now.

Here are the main qa'meH vIttlheghmey, along with an analysis of what each proverb could mean, given the Klingon mindset and their predisposition towards violence.

HIvqa' veqlargh

"The Fek'lhr strikes again."

veqlargh Fek'lhr is a mythical guardian of the Klingon afterlife ghe'tor Grethor where the souls of the dishonoured dead go. Kang said that Klingons do not believe in a devil archetype, so Fek'lhr does not have the same sort of role as the Terran Devil - but it is implied that Fek'lhr does test his victims' honour, and this replacement proverb refers to this myth.

DopDaq qul yIchenmoH QobDI' ghu'

"Set fire on the side when there is danger."

The side, here, means the sides of the speaker's cheeks - the flush of embarrassment. The speaker is pointing out that such an error is a minor thing, and that there are more important matters to consider.

jagh DajeymeH nIteb yISuvrup

"To defeat the enemy, be ready to fight alone."

The speaker, here, is the warrior - who will be ready to defend his honour if someone presses him on the error.

reH Suvrup SuvwI''a'

"A great warrior is always prepared."

The warrior, in this case, being the speaker - who is willing to turn his embarrassing situation into a violent one if anyone dares to humiliate him.

reH latlh qabDaq qul tuj law' Hoch tuj puS

"The fire is always hotter on someone else's face."

Again, a reference to the hot blood of embarrassment, and the need to focus on what is important.

Hagh qoHpu' neH HeghtaHvIS SuvwI'pu'

"Only fools laugh while warriors die."

The "fools," in this case, mean those who are looking on the speaker - who is prepared to back up his warrior credentials ("A demonstration can be arranged!") if pressed.

Recently, another replacement proverb was unearthed thanks to the tireless efforts of Klingon linguistic experts working with the Klingon known as Maltz. This replacement proverb is this:-

jagh yIbuStaH

Concentrate on the enemy!

Once again, this new replacement proverb refers to the act of focusing on more important matters than the one insignificant error the speaker has just committed.

Replacement proverbs are important. Learn them. Use them. They could save more than your life - they might save your honour.